R.I.P. Fishy Fishy

It was a sad day today since I had to flush Lucas's betta fish down the toilet. It was his very first pet, which he got back in May 2010 and named Fishy Fishy. In the last couple of months, we'd noticed FF was unable to stay afloat, constantly sinking to the bottom of his bowl after eating and just sitting there for hours until the next time to eat. Basically, he looked dead most of the time, to the extent that Lucas's babysitter told me as much last week, but I reassured him that that's just how FF was lately.

We noticed FF's bowl was really smelly yesterday, and this afternoon, Marilu was almost wretching from the smell. FF was still alive and sitting on the bottom, but after talking about it, we decided that keeping him alive was just cruel. I brought him upstairs to the toilet and after putting him in it, I waited a bit, hoping he would make an effort to swim strong and stay afloat. I have to admit that I've grown fond of Fishy Fishy over the last 20 months since I'm the one who feeds him and cleans his bowl so this was actually pretty tough for me. He swam around for a couple of minutes, exploring his new environment but then slowly dropped to the bottom. I let out a pretty big sigh at that point and regretfully flushed him away. 

As sad as that was for me, here's where it gets worse. For some reason, once I came back downstairs, I opened up my laptop and Googled "betta fish unable to swim." When Google came back with several entries with that wording, I realized I might have just made a big mistake. After a few minutes of reading, I discovered that betta fish are prone to something called swim bladder disease. As nasty as that sounds, the most common cause is constipation from eating too much food, and it can usually be cured by fasting for 3 days.

Now I don't know for sure that this was Fishy Fishy's problem, but I felt absolutely horrible after reading that information. I was and still am extremely pissed at myself for not looking it up before the flush. It doesn't make any goddamn sense since I Google everything, but for some reason, it slipped my mind to do so this time. I know you're probably thinking "it's just a fish," but it's hard to see it that way from my point of view. The fact that he was Lucas's first pet doesn't help my state of mind.

Speaking of Lucas, this all happened while he was still at daycare. Initially, Marilu and I were going to tell Lucas that FF was sick and that we had brought him to the doctor. Then I would have gone out and bought another betta tomorrow, and he would be none the wiser. However, after talking about it, we decided to tell him the truth. Sort of. We left out the part where I more than likely murdered his fish for no reason.

As you can imagine, Lucas didn't take the news well. There was some crying (not just him), and Marilu told him all about fish heaven, and that helped a little. We were finally able to soothe his feelings a bit by promises of playing the Wii and eating some candy.

I thought Lucas would forget about it, but he came back to Fishy Fishy several times throughout the evening. In particular, at dinner he was asking Marilu over and over again why FF died. Then, out of nowhere, he said I fed him too much. He even made gestures with his hands about how much I had overfed his fish. Marilu and I looked at each other, almost stunned, since overfeeding is one of the things that leads to swim bladder disease. We deflected his comments somewhat, but I realized at that point that Lucas can be wise beyond his years sometimes.

What's done is done though, and there's no way I can go back and fix it now. However, we will be buying him a new betta this Saturday after his swim lessons. Hopefully, that will help him feel better. While reading to him in bed this evening, I paused for a moment and asked him what he was going to name his new fish. He said something that started with an 's' but I couldn't understand it exactly. I asked him, "Sam?" and he said more clearly, "No, Daddy, the same. Fishy Fishy." I smiled and told him that was a great name.

Rest in Peace, Fishy Fishy.